When I dream
by Katia-chan
Summary: Hisoka sees something in Tsuzuki's mind, he doesn't find it troubling, but the older shinigami finds it absolutely terrifying, and neitehr of them realize that it could be deadly. TxH
1. Sakura Fires

When I Dream

By Katia-chan

A/N: My first try at a Yami No Matsuei fic, please be kind but honest.

Enjoy!

()()()()()()()The flowered branches swayed over head, like the axe of his executioner, the moon flashing through them, and his body burned. It burned so badly, he just wanted to die. Wanted to slip into that final oblivion and never return. He wanted peace, peace verging on nothingness.

The burning intensified until he thought from his chest down would burst into flames, and he heard the laughter, the cruel taunting laughter. It plagued him every day, and it made the burning worse.

And then he woke, the scream ripping from his throat.

Hisoka curled his body into a tight ball, feeling his muscles quivering with the effort of not getting up and running away, as far as he could go.

Despite all the reassurances that day brought he was still only sixteen when the sun went down. He was so shaken that he didn't even mentally protest to the small whimpers that left his lips. He gave a tiny jerk as he heard the knob of his door turning, who was in his room? His eyes were pressed tightly shut and he didn't breathe, until he heard a soft sigh above him. "Oh Hisoka," Tsuzuki's voice was soft and pitying. He felt the older shinigami sit down on his bed next to him and lay a hand on his head. The comfort that his presence brought was so complete it took his breath away for a moment, and then his heart slowed slightly.

"It was the sakura again, wasn't it?" He put a hand under Hisoka's chin and lifted his face to look at him. He could do nothing under that gaze but nod. Tsuzuki sighed sadly again and rubbed his shoulder, then he stood up.

"Don't go." The plea was only a soft whisper, but Tsuzuki heard it and chuckled softly, then leaned down and lifted Hisoka from the bed as easily as if he had been a small child.

"I'm not going anywhere kid, you're gonna come with me." He opened the door and walked down the hall until he reached his own apartment, then carried Hisoka inside and set him down on the bed. His load deposited he stood studying the boy.

"The dreams don't go away, do they." He said it so softly, almost wistfully that Hisoka had to look up.

"What do you dream Tsuzuki?" he asked, staring into the intense amethyst eyes.

"Nothing to important." Hisoka felt the shield between them drop into place with a sigh. When it came to the inner Tsuzuki he gave everything and nothing of himself away.

"I dream of Sakuras, and burning," he whispered. Tsuzuki gave him a sorrowful glance and then climbed into bed beside him, wrapping him in a tight hug and causing the younger boy to blink.

"I dream of burning sometimes too, but it's, well, different." The room was silent for a few moments while they both pondered, each sliding into the skin of a dream they would rather forget.

"Do the flowers ever stop burning?" The voice that spoke was not that of the quiet composed Hisoka Kurasaki, but the voice of the young teen he really was. "Do the dreams ever go away, do you ever get better?"

Tsuzuki stroked his cheek gently. "When the flowers stop burning, and they become beautiful, as they truly are, then you know you can be better."

"Tsuzuki?"

"Yeah kid?"

"Do you actually know what you're talking about?" The older man smiled sheepishly.

"Nope, not really, but we can hope, can't we?" Hisoka yawned wide.

"I suppose so." He snuggled back against Tsuzuki and closed his eyes. Tsuzuki sighed deeply, getting comfortable. It was nice to know that under that icy exterior Hisoka still had a child buried somewhere. It was a relief to know his youth hadn't completely passed him by while he stared down the path of revenge.

"When do I get better?" He asked himself in a small whisper, gently rubbing the scars on his wrist with the thumb of his other hand. Then he felt Hisoka stirring and the teen's eyes opened slightly.

"Tsuzuki?"

"Yeah?"

"When you let me share your bed I have different dreams." Tsuzuki relaxed happily into the bed. Thank god the kid could find some peace somewhere

"That's great Hisoka, what do you dream about?"

"I dream of roses." Tsuzuki stilled and felt his heart stop beating. Hisoka seemed untroubled, but Tsuzuki could feel the blood draining from his face.

"Are they," he had to stop and catch his breath. "Are they white?"

"In the beginning." Tsuzuki's heart sank, and he opened his mouth to ask, to make sure, but the boy had already fallen asleep.

A/N: I don't really know a lot about this series, but I thought I'd give it a try. Please review and tell me what you think! Flames are ok too, it's cold here. If I get some positive feedback the next chapter will come up faster! Sorry this was so short, next chapters will be longer!

TTFN

Katia-chan


	2. Essence of Rose

When I dream

By Katia-chan

A/N: Thanks all for reading, just an fyi for all the readers of "Life After death," the story is very temporarily on hold for computer repair reasons, and for the reason of when my computer crashed I lost the nearly completed chapter! Rewriting is currently in motion, gomen!

Anywho, thanks to all for reviewing my first YnM story, it means a lot!

I had a comment about Hisoka's oocness, and I'm sorry! In this story he will be a little ooc at moments, and sometimes it will be my own ignorance. I hope it is not too bad. If it's really bothering you then just drop me a flame, I'm cold, but if you do flame, make it constructive, that's all I ask.

Enjoy!

The morning found Tsuzuki lying awake in bed, and Hisoka beside him sleeping like a baby. The night's events had robbed Tsuzuki of what little peace he had. Hisoka's revelation of his peek into the darker side of Tsuzuki's dreams greatly worried the older shinigami. The thing that worried him most was, for him, roses were not exactly the kindest symbol in his mind.

"Will you stop tossing?" Hisoka stirred beside him and sighed, cutely sleepily irritated.

"Gomen," Tsuzuki sighed, lying still until Hisoka had fallen back asleep. Then he carefully and silently slid out of bed, leaving behind his pillow in his place incase Hisoka needed something to grab.

After making himself some coffee he left his apartment, leaving a note for Hisoka, if the kid ever woke up. His nightmares sometimes had a draining effect on his energy, so a few times he had had to stay home from work. This rarely happened, but sometimes Tsuzuki guessed, the mental effort to wake and retreat from that little hell took a lot out of Hisoka. 'My dreams are going to start doing that to me too if I get another night of sleep like that.' He grumbled all the way down the hall until he realized he didn't know who to go talk to.

Tetsumi might kill him if he woke him this early, it being 4 in the morning and all. Watari was probably up, since he doubted the scientist ever slept. So, his mind made up he headed for the lab.

Appaun reaching it he hesitated at the door when he heard a small explosion and Watari cursing softly. He shook his head and knocked on the door. "You still alive in there Watari?" There was a scuffling, an angry hoot and then the cheerful call of welcome.

"Nope, not last time I checked, come on in." He chuckled at the ancient humor and slipped into the pit Watari called a laboratory. The boxes and crates gave it the look of a shipping and storage room, but he didn't care, simply took a seat on the nearest box, promptly jumping up again as something under him squawked and fluttered and clawed.

"Ah!" Watari looked over at him and grimaced.

"The bird's fault, go on!" The bird gave Tsuzuki another angry look and fluttered away into a corner. "So, besides sitting on my wild life, what brings you here this early?" Tsuzuki was on the verge of answering, but the happy contented look on Watari's face made him unable to ruin what seemed to be a good morning for the scientist.

"Oh nothing, just up and bored." Watari narrowed his eyes at him and frowned.

"The dark circles and lines around your eyes don't suggest you were just UP." Tsuzuki shook his head airily.

"Nope, just didn't sleep well, nothing more. The scientist looked skeptical, but apparently decided to push it no further, for which Tsuzuki was grateful. "Well, I won't waste anymore of your time, thanks for the chat."

"Leaving so soon?" He shrugged, trying to cover his awkwardness.

"You look busy, and it looks like something's about to blow, see you!" He made a dive for the door as Watari dove for the bubbling test tube. He had just slid out of the lab and slammed the heavy door when there was another boom and a hooting that sounded suspiciously like laughter, and Watari's irritated remarks to the bird.

He felt like such a coward for not doing what he had set out to do, but Watari, though he might understand, didn't need to be dragged into the shadowed side of his dreams, let him think Tsuzuki dreamed of cakes, and that his imprisonment inside himself had produced no recurring nightmares. Watari and a lot of people would be considerably happier for the ignorance.

He sighed, there was really no one he would prefer to talk to about this. Meraki was the only one who knew his past, and he'd spend an eternity in hell before he would tell that son of a bitch that the torment he had put Tsuzuki through was slowly filtering into Hisoka. He returned to the room to find his partner wrapped around his pillow, not looking as if he'd let go any time soon. He climbed back into bed and gently but firmly tugged the pillow out of Hisoka's grasp.

"Ass hole," Hisoka muttered, grabbing Tsuzuki instead. He looked at his young partner, and hoped beyond all hope that the boy's dreams stayed peaceful, because he had never known the thorny flower to bring anything but blood and pain.

He shifted and tried to get comfortable to catch the last few hours of sleep he could get. The cover slipped from Hisoka's shoulder as Tsuzuki got comfortable, and what he saw there made the blood freeze in his veins.

On the back of his shoulder, amid the red tattoo of Hisoka's bitter need for revenge was a tattooed rose that he knew hadn't been there before. The tattoo showed a medium sized and very delicate white rose, with a crimson point in the center. That was odd, since Roses usually didn't look like that. Then the crimson center began to shift. He pressed is finger to it, and when he pulled it away there was something warm and sticky on his hand.

He stared in horror as Hisoka's blood trickled slowly from the center of the tattoo. He trembled as, far in the recesses of his mind he heard the word that had echoed through his imprisonment over and over again, accusing him with his own lips.

"Murderer!"

A/N: Well, another sad little chapter here! They are only short because I have no idea where this is going, gomennnnnnnnn!

Review!

TTFN

Katia-chan


	3. Your Blood

When I Dream

By Katia-chan

A/N: An update! I didn't think this would happen, but I got a review, and it made me happy, so I decided to make another go at it.

Some of my stuff may seem a little off, so forgive me. It's been a while since I've watched or read from the series.

A huge hug and tackle glomp to everyone who reviewed chapter 2! You all are absolutely amazing, and I hope this chapter will make up for the horribly long delay I've put you through.

Flames welcome, its cold out.

Enjoy!

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Hisoka jolted awake, jerking away from Tsuzuki and staring around wildly. "What happened?" he asked sharply, his breathing harsh and quick. Tsuzuki flinched slightly as he realized that his panic must have woken the boy. He was about to brush it off, tell Hisoka that nothing was wrong and go back to sleep, but then he saw a thin stream of blood slide down the boys arm.

"You, you're," he found himself unable to explain. Hisoka's eyes went to where his own were fixed and he frowned at the thin line of blood on his arm.

"What happened?" he asked again, his voice slow and deliberate.

"You, um, didn't get any tattoos, did you?" His partner gave him a disgusted look, flopping back on the sheets.

"Idiot, of course not. You know that, I've been here for the last week." Tsuzuki didn't bother to elaborate, just reached out gingerly and lightly touched the rose tattoo. Hisoka shuddered slightly under his touch and he withdrew his hand. Empathy had its drawbacks.

"Well, you've got one now," he said quietly. Getting out of bed slowly he went to the dresser and grabbed a small mirror from one of the drawers. Coming back he handed it to Hisoka. The younger shinigami took it and looked at the place his senior had been pointing to. A frown creased his forehead as he saw the delicate pattern of the marking.

"I, didn't get this," he said slowly, clearly puzzled. Then his eyes widened slightly as he watched a trickle of blood come from the center of the flower. "Tsuzuki, what's going on?" Tsuzuki shook his head.

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Hisoka said nothing for a few minutes. He tried to read his young partner's face, but the expression was as blank and unreadable as it always was. There was no hint as to what was going on inside his head. It was this in fact, that Tsuzuki feared the most, what might be happening inside the boy right now.

Unable to help himself, curiosity getting the better of him he reached out and touched the tattoo again, laying his palm over it to hide it, to not look at it.

"What the hell!" His partner screamed and flung himself away, Tsuzuki throwing himself in the opposite direction and tumbling off the bed. Reemerging a few seconds later he found Hisoka pressed against the headboard, clutching his arm which was now covered in blood.

"Hisoka!" he yelled, hurling himself towards his partner. Hisoka was staring at the tattoo, his face white. Tsuzuki's eyes followed his partner's wide ones to the rose tattoo. The small center point which he'd seen earlier had split, branching out in to the veins of petals, and blood poured from every crack, running down Hisoka's arm. He grabbed a sheet, pressing it to the tattoo, but in seconds the blood had soaked through.

"Hisoka, are you alright? Does it hurt?" Hisoka looked at him, his face pale and sweaty.

"It, it burns," he murmured, and then just as suddenly as he'd awoken a few minutes earlier his form crumpled back against the wall.

"Hisoka!" he cried, quickly lifting the boy's limp for off the bed and running for the door. They needed to get to the infirmary. The blood hadn't slowed at all.

'Your blood, your blood, your blood,' That savage voice that haunted his thoughts chanted in his head as he ran, his partner's blood running down his hands.

They were stained again.

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A/N: It's short, so sorry! It's a cliffy, even sorrier! I hope to work on this more as I get some break time from school. I still have no idea where in heaven's name this is headed, so as things progress we shall see! Reviews will motivate me!

TTFN

Katia-chan


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